I lay out my meditation morning, and so far I’ve paced instead of meditated, but I lit the candle, and had the breakfast, and dressed, and cleaned the kitchen up. this is the exact day I have been pining for, fairly empty schedule at least until 2:30. of course it will be admin work, but yakkity yakkity yakkity I have so many tasks, I’d rather be doing them than writing about them.<\/p>\n
I can tell I’m in psychic crisis with a pattern of negative thinking that’s developing an undertow. So I imagine Tami at my side every moment. When I felt that I would make an exception to\u00a0my usual prayer and meditation routine, and not put my forehead all the way on the floor, because of the pounding sinus headache, Tami said, why are you excluding yourself? because I have a headache. to which she replied, you made the headache in order to keep yourself away from your own intentions, now put your head down, and I did and of course there was no pain.<\/p>\n
just do it. make the list and do the list.<\/p>\n
all is well and in its place i made this illness too. with the sore throat and the headache, and the dizzy feeling of being jammed off-kilter at the eye sockets. must need soup.<\/p>\n
even the headache feels exactly like a tibetan bowl tone, haptic reminder of my intention.<\/p>\n
I assume prayer\u00a0position which\u00a0acts as a reminder of my intention. I am about to remind muself by way of prayer and meditation, that my life is not the myriad dramas that seem to play out half in front of my eyes and half behind them, but that my life is the creative force I am using to make all those dramas out of the few facts and indications provided in the limited ways I see the world. and I can make them how I desire.<\/p>\n
i hope to ~ when Tami interrupts the typing by tripping\u00a0 the last two fingers of my typing hand, with her unctuous Hallmark message of self love, \u00a0“How could you set your mind to CREE-YAY-SHIN if it’s stuck in self doubt? \u00a0bolstered by everyone’s words and eyebrows and tones of voice as judgments against the essential energy of the universe… joydesirecreation. It’s your thing”, she tells me, pegging me for using the fake-out, unmanifesting, trick word, “hope.” \u00a0Hope is what you have for events you can’t control. don’t park yourself there. \u00a0park yourself in creation. \u00a0your words, you are driving with your words, they are incantations. so make them the way you desire to live. \u00a0okay<\/em>, I tell her, okay, i create<\/em>.<\/p>\n Several practices have to be in place for me to be creating the experience I desire. Some of them are mundane, like health and wellness and movement, but we\u00a0are<\/em>\u00a0stuck on the ground in these rapidly expiring meat-units, so the more health the more spirit.<\/p>\n take vitamins<\/p>\n wash face<\/p>\n have breakfast<\/p>\n write 3 pages free writing<\/p>\n For 12 years I have been tending to fitness with K-X<\/a>. Grown out of chiropracty and Joseph Pilates’ core-strengthening\u00a0dancer wellness exercises, K-X is a whole body | whole being,\u00a0pilates-based regimen of\u00a0movements, chakra chanting, and stretching, conceived by a contemporary Chicago practitioner. \u00a0Like yoga without tradition, instead\u00a0each session is tailored\u00a0by the body in the moment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I lay out my meditation morning, and so far I’ve paced instead of meditated, but I lit the candle, and had the breakfast, and dressed, and cleaned the kitchen up. this is the exact day I have been pining for, fairly empty schedule at least until 2:30. of course it will be admin work, but … Continue reading peace<\/span>