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<\/a><\/p>\n‘Well,\u2019 I say to myself, a little loud, emphasizing the echo that outlines my solitude, \u2018well, are you ever ever ever going to ask yourself what you want to do with the writing?\u00a0 if you want to try to make something out of it, to sh<\/i>are?\u2019<\/p>\n
Then it\u2019s like before the meeting is called to order in my head, and after a few minutes \u00a0listening, staring at words I\u2019ve already written, and pulling at the fine hairs of my forearm, the last voice to settle into silence says, \u2018it already is what it is, maybe not where, but what it is.\u2019\u00a0 You might be right, I tell it, you might be right.<\/p>\n
Regard.\u00a0 Regarder.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t it the regard that lends the unity?\u00a0 I think about sweeping my mind clean again, and leaving it out to dry in the bright bright western sun of a studio afternoon.\u00a0 What would I put together?\u00a0 I would wonder what it would look like if I put the whole of the activity of the practice up for regard.\u00a0 How I would present such a thing.<\/p>\n
I will look at the outline of \u00a0this documentary maker’s presentation<\/a>, what he’s making and who sees it and what does it raise and leave the viewer with, he says, ‘here is what I want to give you the viewer I want to give you awe, here’s why awe is good for you,’ so simple, and happy-brained.\u00a0 I have wound my same up in 250 pieces of handmade waxed paper,<\/p>\n and, in more proliferate iterations, reflected it backwards through a gallery window at night,<\/p>\n where hundreds of people saw it and dozens may have noticed. \u00a0Sometimes I think, I’ll just publish it all, why not.\u00a0 I wouldn’t be able to steer it or conduct it or teach it to synchronize swim so that anyone could find it anyway.\u00a0 I’m talking about a much more metaphorical publishing, albeit real, like how the Japanese leave one plum on the tree for the birds over winter.\u00a0 a gesture, remember, Milan Kundera? \u00a0 is it just the writing?\u00a0 in service to the sculpture which is asking so much now, asking for so much, asking that I look.\u00a0 I would want to know what the practices are in the making of these marvelously crafted thought-works.\u00a0 Especially if it’s not merely living healthily in unbridled personal work time.\u00a0 like the kind I am having this afternoon, my arms raised from my sides like airplane wings, stepping one foot carefully in front of the other, along the beam over a day in which I might have done something else, but to what end, I don’t have time to wonder.<\/p>\n The hell.\u00a0 Now we have a new place, and three worthy shows.\u00a0 And wtf what\u2019s the push into the writing at this time, when there are shelves to be erected, lenses to be mounted, have I descended into slovenliness?\u00a0 Or am I still channeling?\u00a0 I can never tell, sometimes until years later.\u00a0 It\u2019s always a bucket of cold water in the guts to find a beloved old project vapid, or a shirked one riveting.\u00a0 Kerplunk, that\u2019s what my old buddy M would type.\u00a0 Is there really even any other way?\u00a0 And for reals, have I not demonstrated that I am not going to go to any other sort of trouble about the writing.\u00a0 I am I don\u2019t think not going to do a lot of things that I could do if I tried and trued and bled and died and let go and fell into lucky publishing holes in the ground.\u00a0 My same old buddy actually did say, and I need to remember clearly the few things I heard him say, he said to let go of the idea of brave.\u00a0 Now, you know that I know that you know about who\u2019s brave and who ain\u2019t.\u00a0 It will take me a week to figure out how to even make the blog, even though I have been told and taught, when you are sloughing blogs everywhere you go.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be over here making one out of foam core board and wood glue, bent wires and brown kraft paper.\u00a0 I will work really, really hard for it to have one page like a postcard and be wrong-sized for the screens of the modern world.\u00a0 It will not be UL listed, or compatible with anything, I won\u2019t be able to explain myself, and god only knows what sort of havoc will be wrought in my personal life when the inside goes on view.\u00a0 Needless to say I won\u2019t be able to tell anyone or talk about it with anyone.\u00a0 I will prefer to have absolutely no idea, for it to be no different than not publishing that I really have to wonder, why publish it??\u00a0 WHY THE VOICE?!\u00a0 What does it want to say?\u00a0 I ask it again and again and all these years the only thing I\u2019ve learned is how to reset it.<\/p>\n The whale eyes, the shark eyes, the divided light of my Mana studio windows, the amplituhedron<\/a>, particularly that it shows locality\/proximity and unitarity, the idea that of all possibilities, the number that will manifest is one.\u00a0 My poor brain, it needs toning.\u00a0 Ginseng, perhaps, or cold-to-hot saunas, and sudoku.\u00a0 The emptying of Pandora, and the refilling, when we hear Lyle Lovett again after many years, and the Sundays, and cranberries and bjork and suzanne vega, patti griffin, and of course, rickie lee jones, who\u2019d a-suspected she\u2019d be the queen in hindsight, the queen alongside queen joni who just is there, making the world what it is.\u00a0 And annie lennox who always seemed the woman, looking like a fresh faced little girl on the cover of Medusa.\u00a0 You know who is missing and should be there is Grace slick and also patti smith.\u00a0 As long as we are talking about female powerhouses, the list is much longer than this.\u00a0 But there is oh so much drivel, Machine, Pandora, reader of mine, there is so much drivel in the female vocalist pop rock genre that I dare not tell Pandora to have at it with my careful, deliberate short list of female muses to me.\u00a0 and not only musicians, Carol Burnett, and Gilda Radnor, Lee Bontecou, Beatrice Wood, these ladies already know it. \u00a0all of \u2018em, Indie dance stations.\u00a0\u00a0 I could never expect a machine to tell the difference.\u00a0 Pandora is for example almost but not quite screwing up taking liberties with really dumb music just because it\u2019s fruit striped.\u00a0 And there were and are women out there making art with their lifeblood, Eva Hesse, Marina Abramovic, Yoko for reals Ono, do you think he\u2019d see it through an airhead?, so yes yes I love women.\u00a0 I don\u2019t talk about them so much, nor they me, but we are standing all together behind one another silently.\u00a0 Florence, making it right, with the Machine.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not telling Pandora about her but Madonna is fiercely respected, even though her music isn\u2019t home to me.\u00a0 Lucille Ball, for god\u2019s sake. Emmylou.\u00a0 Erma Bombeck, and think of all the women I don\u2019t know about, showing the way, like lovers and grandmothers.\u00a0 So after coming up on 4 years of writing and barely ever mentioning women, let me say this peace now, amen for the women.<\/p>\n Radical Openness.\u00a0 From which, you note right up front, there is no way out.\u00a0 As if I hadn\u2019t noticed by now.\u00a0 Well.\u00a0 alright.\u00a0 I wish my blackout curtains were already up.\u00a0 I\u2019d be in the lenses now, even though I forgot to talk about them with Derek because we were talking about kinetic machines instead, and like a sight-hound it was all I could think, the motors moving the screen a little and therefore the shadow a lot, iterations all of it on the turning shaft, the kitchenaid, the car, the drill and the mill.\u00a0 I don\u2019t suppose I was born to be succinct of word, like mr silva, who is to be revered for keeping hold of the thread long enough to tell it.\u00a0 My sort of succinct does not deal in time or linear progression.<\/p>\n Radical Openness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The numerous aspects.\u00a0 The fact that, really, not one anything is properly described by language.\u00a0 The myriad facts of the eyeball: shark and whale eyes. \u00a0Universe says, !Cut Through Red Tape Here! and direct-wires me every time.\u00a0 Thank you Universe for the hard working artists of the world. The opening of shark\u2019s eye, a uniform … Continue reading Oct 12 13 Do You Love Me, Now That I Can Dance?<\/span> <\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n