Tami recommends a marianne williamson guided meditation tip, that I see in my mind’s eye a little ball of golden light.  I know Tami doesn’t think in shapes of art. She is thinking in shapes of smiling faces, but she trusts me when I tell her the work just appeared.

I call Tami to my side no matter how she has to get here, no matter about what kind of thinker I have to be in order to see her, I call her quick because it’s about to blow, there’s about to be the foam on the crest of the waves and the tumbling and tossing and gnashing of bone and eye. Git here quick! I signal and my light’s out before I can examine flag signals, and Braille, and hand sign languages, before I can even test the analogy for credibility! in the writing, before i’m done i’m taken in the undertow

I try to keep my ear open beyond for her, ‘say what you do create’ like if I’m going under the waves, it won’t help me to mingle with the undersea stuff, I had better get up to the air. ‘just stand up’ i had to tell myself once, at the apex of my snowboarding fun, when I, miraculously and without any skill, stood up successfully out of a three tumble teakettle with Balance, Evel Knievel-style, returned to my board, and I slid heelside to a cool stop at the bottom of the run. But after that, and this is why I’m calling for Tami, three weeks after that I took an amazing spill that I never got my nerves back from, and only out of vigilance and grace, and not health insurance, did I get my rotator cuff and my tailbone back.  ‘see baby see how you heal’ she says to me in a voice imagined in the certainty that I’ll begin to hear it real in just another instant three weeks after my moment of glory